Are you currently working with planetary powers, but you’re tired of mulling over all the arithmetic and calculations, the correspondences, and the timing of it all? Here is my gift to you (and myself)–The Planetary Hours and Days Calculator. Simply enter the day, sunrise and sunset of the time and place your working will occur, and presto-changeo, all the correspondence work is done for you. You can download this worksheet for free, at the link at the bottom.
To use this calculator, simply determine the time for sunrise and sunset at your location, then fill in the red fields at the top. Hours are numbered using a 24-hour clock. Using this tool, you can plan ahead to determine the appropriate time for your planetary working in advance. Click the HERE to download this worksheet.
To Hoodoo a Man’s Nature:
If a man you love is running around and won’t be faithful, take the MEASURE of his penis while he is hard, transferring the MEASURE to a STRING. Wipe the STRING with his SEMEN, then tie nine knots in it. To tie the knots, make the start of a knot at the center of the STRING, then call his name. When he replies, pull the knot tight. Do this for each knot, on nine separate days. The order in which the knots are tied is this:
Keep this knotted MEASURE-STRING in a red flannel bag dressed with Stay With Me Oil. If you hate the man and want to destroy his sex life, roll his MEASURE in RED PEPPER powder and CROSSING OIL, then use it as a wick and hand-form a black penis-shaped candle around it. Dress the candle with Crossing Oil, light the wick and let it burn all the way out.
13th century alchemist Michael Scot in his work Liber luminis luminum, gives us a recipe for a “miraculous powder” which when used “can bring wisdom, joy and all manner of blessings from God above.” The only catch? You have to get a family of toads drunk and high, then burn them to a crisp!
Take ten poisonous toads, and let them be live, and put them in in a special vessel that they can’t escape from. Later take fresh asphodel [or daffodil] and white hellebore in good measure, extract as much of their juice as you can, put the juice in the vessel with the toads and let them drink it for nine days.
Then stick the toads into a clay pot, and place it into an oven so that the animals are burnt to ashes with sufficient heat. And thence remove them and carefully grind them up. And when that work is done, take Salt of Wisdom (alembroth), alkali, and just as much ammoniac. And then carefully grind ,mixing it with the (sap?) [lit. “urine”] of a yew tree. And dry it and grind it again. Do that nine times and you’ll make a miraculous powder.
Decem bufones tenentes venenum et fiant vive et ponantur in aliquo vase unde non valeant exire. Postea accipe anfodillos recentes et eleborum album in bona quantitate extrahe inde succum cum eis quantum pones, pone succum in vase illo in quo sunt rane et dimitte eas bibere per ix dies. Tunc accipe eas et pone in olla rudi et luta eam luto sapientie et pone ipsam in furno ita ut animalia comburantur combustione sufficienti et extrahe inde ea et tere diligenter et cum opus fuerit de illo pulvere accipe 3 – 1 de sale alebrot,3 – 1 de sale alkali, 3 – 5 de sale armoniaco tantundem et teras diligenter permiscendo cum ea urinam tassi et iterum exsicca et tere et hoc nonies fiat et de illo pulvere poteris facere mirabilia.
Whether God will bless you if you try this, I can’t say. But I’m sure mixing 5-HO DMT with other alkaloids, along with ammonia and other things from under the kitchen sink that you’re not supposed to mix together, is going to definitely make you feel special, perhaps permanently. DO NOT TRY.
Brown, Rev. James Wood. (1897). An enquiry into the life and legend of Michael Scot. Retrieved from https://archive.org/details/enquiryintolifel00browrich
Hatsis, T. (2015). Witches ointment – the secret history of psychedelic magic. Inner Traditions Bear And Comp.
With the current events surrounding the 300 priests in Pennsylvania who sexually abused more than 1,000 children, talk of priestly celibacy has the internet all abuzz again, as well as people like the Catholic League, The Church Militant, and more than one archbishop trying to shove the blame back onto this “gay cabal” that has taken over the church. Gee it’s almost as if no change has been made between today and 2002, when clerical sexual abuse cover-ups first became widely known.
Fear not, you faggoty confrères, for I have found for you some fascinating, fitting and fortuitous magical formulae to help fulfill the fondness you feel for fornication with the fledgling young fellows in your flock!
Yes, while flagellation, castration and public denial are some of the oldest tricks in your book, I went digging and found older tricks from older books. Let’s look at some!
Petrus Hispanus, who may have also been known as Pope John XXI, wrote in his Thesaurus pauperum about an ointment made of hemlock and mandrake that could be slathered on your testicles to take away sexual desire (Here translated into English by Humfrey Lloyd in the 1500’s):
13th Century Remedy Against Male Desire
“Hemlockes bound to a mans stones, take vtterly away all desyre of copulacion. If Opium, Henbane sede, & mā∣drage be mynglid wyth wax & oyle, in the whyche they haue soden, and the members therwith be anoynted and a plaster therof beyng made, & bound vnto the coddes, it taketh a∣waye the desyer of copulacion. Anoynte oftentymes the mem∣bres, with the ioyce of Nyght shade Singrene, and vyneger. Al men and inespecially Diosco∣rides sayeth that P•per, Rue, Tut∣sayne, Calamint, Castoreum, waste the s•de of generacyon, (by driuing it vp) of there p•opretie and stronge heate. Item let the yarde be anoyntyd wt oyle, wherin Camfore hath ben re∣solued, and he shall haue no feruent desyre to it. I a man eate the flowers of a sal∣low or wyllowe tree, or of a Poplet tree, they wyl make cold al the heate of carnall lust in hym. Bene flouer made in forme of a plaster and bound vnto the pryuye members of a boy, quenchith al con¦cupiscence and sufferth not heares to growe ther. Lettys sede dryethe vp the seede, & quenchith the desyer of copulacon. Anonte the priuie members wyth •he ioyce of Hēbane, and the carnal concupiscence shalbe quenchid ther¦by.”
FYI this book also includes instructions and remedies on contraception and menstruation as well—a lot to ask from a pope!
This may be a case of fighting fire with fire, as the 12th century abbess and polymath Hildegard of Bingen writes that the mandrake is a lusty plant which… “because of its similarity with Man’s image, lies in wait with the Devil’s temptations more than other plants. Whence, according to his pleasures, whether it be good or bad, Man is aroused, just as once he romped with pagan gods.”
Elsewhere in her book Liber subtilitatum diversarum natuarum creaturarum (I-56), she gives us a counter spell for those men who, because of magical influence, couldn’t keep their cocks in their pants. They should wash a FEMALE (or male if he liked boys) mandrake root and tie it to their abdomen for three days and three nights, then remove the root, split it in two, and tie it then to his thighs for three more days. He would then pulverize the right arm of the root and swallow the powder.
A small sample of early Christian Shamanism can be found in the story of the mandrake, which was also used by lay folk for insomnia as well as invigoration, but which could easily be taken too much resulting in death. The sexual powers of mandrake were not unknown during the Middle Ages, as even Agrippa noted its use among pagan and early Christian potioneers as a potent aphrodisiac, and an offering by Grecian whores to the goddess Venus (De incertitudine et vanitate scientiarum liber, 203)
Agrippa, Heinrichus Cornelius. (XVI century). De incertitudine et vanitate scientiarum liber. Retrieved from Google Books
Hatsis, T. (2015). Witches ointment – the secret history of psychedelic magic. Inner Traditions Bear And Comp.
Lloyde, Humphrey. (XVI century) [Manuscript]. The treasury of healthe conteynyng many profitable medycines gathered out of Hypocrates, Galen and Auycen, by one Petrus Hyspanus [and] translated into Englysh by Hymfre Lloyde who hath added thereunto the causes and sygnes of every disease, wyth the Aphorismes of Hypocrates and Iacobus de Partybus redacted to a certayne order according to the membres of mans body, and a compendiouse table conteynyng the purginge and confortatyue medycynes, wyth the exposicyo[n] of certayne names [and] weyghtes in this boke contayned wyth an epystle of Diocles vnto kyng Antigonus. Retrieved from Early English Books Online
von Bingen, Hildegard. (XII century). Physica: Liber subtilitatum diversarum naturarum creaturarum. Retrieved from Google Books
This 18th century grimoire on black magic is attributed to St. Cyprian, the north African Berber bishop of late antiquity who was definitely no magician (or the Grecian mage who was stolen by Christianity?). The text is presented in macaronic Latin, Hebrew and trans. fluvii hijacked from Agrippa (XVI CE). It is also said to belong to the famed Black School of Wittenburg, but who has said that remains unclear. Taking a brief look at the drawings and texts, and given the unknown origin and author, my best guess is that his book is a total fraud—a showpiece for some eccentric collector to flash at parties to create an allure. The text does contain pretty straightforward content, but none of it is really original. If this is a genuine grimoire, it is useless! There are no contemporary references to the document at all, which gives me pause. There is a promising book about this grimoire and Cyprian’s magic I might try to pick up.
Indispensable invisibility spell: Take fat or an eye of a nightowl and a ball of dung rolled by a beetle and oil of an unripe olive and grind them all together until smooth, and smear your whole
body with it and say to Helios: “I adjure you by your great name, BORKÊ PHOIOUR IÕ ZIZIA APARXEOUCH THTHE LALIAM AAAAAA IIIII OOOO IEÕ IEÕ IEÕ IEÕ IEÕ IEÕ IEÕ NAUNAX AI AI AEÕ AEÕ EAÕ,” and moisten it and say in addition: “Make me invisible, lord Helios, AEÕ ÕAÊ EIÊ ÊAÕ,
in the presence of any man until sunset, IÕ IÕ Õ PHRIXRIZÕ EÕA.”
PGM I. 247-62
Tested spell for invisibility: A great work. Take an eye of an ape or of a corpse that has died a violent death and plant a peony. Rub these with oil of lily, and as you are rubbing
them from the right to the left, say the spell as follows: “I am ANUBIS, I am OSIR-PHRE, I am OSOT SORONOUIER, I am OSIRIS whom SETH destroyed. Rise up infernal daimon, IÕ ERBETH IÕ PHOBETH IÕ PAKERBETH IÕ APOMPS; whatever I, NN, order you to do
be obedient to me.” And if you wish to become invisible, rub just your face with the concoction, and you will be invisible for as long as you wish. And if you wish to be visible again, move from west to east and say this name, and you will be obvious and visible to all
men. The name is: MARMARIAÕTH MARMARIPHEGGE, make me, NN, visible to all men on this day, immediately, immediately; quickly, quickly!” This works very well.
Betz, H. D. (1996). The Greek magical papyri in translation: Including the Demotic spells. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.